Monday, April 28, 2008

Change # 18 - 'ohmygodohmygodohmygod'

This week my mind is as far away from Green as... crap, I don't know, a big fat Hummer idling away in the drive thru of a McDonald's.

My disconnect from all things green is because in six very short days I'm going back to work full time (after being off for the last 13 months with my cutiepie). I sort of feel bad complaining since, I realize just how lucky I am to have been off for the last year with 93% of my pay. I mean... it's really kind of crazy when you consider that some women around the world in 'civilized' countries like the States only get six to 12 weeks maternity leave. The idea of leaving Ian at 12 months is killing me, leaving him all day at six weeks, well that's just seriously NUTS! In any case, I really shouldn't complain since, in addition to having a year off paid, my sister (EarthMotherExtraordinaire) who lives only two blocks away, and has a home daycare will be taking care of Ian. I know. Seriously. I have NO BUSINESS complaining... and yet. There is this sadness that is gnawing at the corners of my heart. I've been in major denial about it for several weeks now. Trying to live in the moment. Trying to enjoy every single remaining minute of our days together (even the ones where I'm being yelled at 'NA-NA NA-NA NA-NA' for reasons I can't quite figure out). But as I get closer to May 5th there is no denying the sadness. It's not like I'm leaving him forever. I mean, it's only nine hours a day... but he'll do so much growing and learning in those hours that I won't get to see. Yet, despite being sad. I'm still really grateful. I'm SO lucky. This year has been a blessing. One of the most important and life changing. Sad and grateful. Not a bad combination really.

Our green change: I planted organic seeds this week for cherry tomatoes, green onions, a bunch of different herbs and other things. My sister and I are attempting to plant a full on vegetable garden this year. EAT LOCAL! Hopefully that's just what we'll be doing.... you can't get much more local than your own back yard. Planting a garden means: 1) not using pesticides 2) avoiding the packaging that some veggies come in 3) reducing the carbon footprint of our produce 4) using some of the compost we've been making for over a year now 5) developing an appreciation for our farmers and the hard work that they do 6) getting our hands dirty 7) sharing the bounty (?) with our friends!

We'll also be picking up and planting our 'free tree' from the city this week. You really can't get much greener than planting a tree. Which is kind of ironic considering how much I really hated planting trees when I worked for the MNR as a junior forest ranger at the ripe old age of seventeen. Who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to give a seventeen year old the keys to a 1984 Dodge Ram pick-up truck for an entire summer? If you know of anyone whose turning 17 next year... it's an amazing summer experience! I'm hoping the program will still be around for my kids to experience.

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